Sunday Quote: Life and Relationships

“Often we act as if relationships are something to be squeezed into our schedule. We talk about finding time for our children or making time for people in our lives. That gives the impression that relationships are just a part of our lives along with man other tasks. But God says relationships are what life is all about.” ~ Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Ransomed Heart: The Point of All Living

I wanted to share with you the daily reading that Ransomed Heart Ministries sent out yesterday.

January 29, 2010

The Point of All Living

I love watching a herd of horses grazing in an open pasture, or running free across the wide, sage-covered plateaus in Montana. I love hiking in the high country when the wildflowers are blooming—the purple lupine and the Indian paintbrush when it’s turning magenta. I love thunder clouds, massive ones. My family loves to sit outside on summer nights and watch the lightning, hear the thunder as a storm rolls in across Colorado. I love water, too—the ocean, streams, lakes, rivers, waterfalls, rain. I love jumping off high rocks into lakes with my boys. I love old barns, windmills, the West. I love vineyards. I love it when Stasi is loving something, love watching her delight. I love my boys. I love God.

Everything you love is what makes a life worth living. Take a moment, set down the book, and make a list of all the things you love. Don’t edit yourself; don’t worry about prioritizing or anything of that sort. Simply think of all the things you love. Whether it’s the people in your life or the things that bring you joy or the places that are dear to you or your God, you could not love them if you did not have a heart. Loving requires a heart alive and awake and free. A life filled with loving is a life most like the one that God lives, which is life as it was meant to be (Eph. 5:1–2).

Of all the things that are required of us in this life, which is the most important? What is the real point of our existence? Jesus was confronted with the question point-blank one day, and he boiled it all down to two things: loving God and loving others. Do this, he said, and you will find the purpose of your life. Everything else will fall into place. Somewhere down inside we know it’s true; we know love is the point. We know if we could truly love, and be loved, and never lose love, we would finally be happy. And is it even possible to love without your heart?

(Waking the Dead; 47-48)

Refocusing My Life

“What disturbs me is that now, years later, while I still believe that nothing else matters compared to knowing God, I often live as though I don’t believe it. I struggle with spiritual passivity. It eats away at me as covertly as termites in the walls of my house.” ~ Bill Perkins; Six Battles Every Man Must Win

In my heart I know that there is nothing greater in this life than to live in a relationship with God. I recall those times when life seemed so clear and I could truly call God my friend. Yet the reality of my life is that more often than not I live as if God was a distant memory and I was in control of my life.

It is so easy to lose sight of the life God has planned for us as we are pushed forward by the tides of life. It is hard to focus on God when a thousand other things demand our attention. God quickly becomes an afterthought as we address what is urgent and immediate in our lives.

How can we be more consistent in focusing our lives on God? I believe that first step we must take in refocusing out lives is to remind ourselves that the things of this world are passing away. We put so much effort into accumulating things and trying to get noticed that we sometimes forget the temporary nature of the things we are chasing after. Champions are replaced, trophies are trashed, things break, and technology becomes obsolete. As the apostle John wrote; And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves (1 John 2:17a; NLT). We need to stop and remember what survives the ravages of time.

The second step is worshiping God. We worship whenever we focus our hearts and minds on God. It could be singing songs of praise, it could be a discussion with a friend, it could be listening to a sermon, it could be a walk in the woods. When we take our eyes off God and begin to focus on the world around us that is when we begin to become more concerned with what needs to be done and the things we need to have rather than loving God. Worship is that opportunity that helps us refocus our attention on God. Praise the LORD! Praise God in his heavenly dwelling; praise him in his mighty heaven! Praise him for his mighty works; praise his unequaled greatness! (Psalm 150:1,2; NLT)

The third step is that we need to focus on relationships. People are more important than the things in our lives. We know this, but often our lives tell a different story. It is very important for us to emphasis the relationships in our lives, because it is through spending time with people that we begin to achieve those things that truly have eternal significance. It is through the time spent with family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors that we are able to become a blessing to them. By being a blessing we are able establish influence with them. Influence, rather than position and power, allows us to have a greater impact on their lives. “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34; 35; NLT).

When our lives have lost their focus and we are drowning in the “demands” of life it is time to hit the pause button and refocus on lives on what is really important. We can allow ourselves to be pushed along with the tide of life, or we can choose to live in harmony with God. That is a choice that God has left up to us to make. For my money, there is no greater life than the life that is lived for God.

Be a Foreigner

In her devotional book You're the Voice: 40 More Days with God Christian Contemporary recording artist, Rebecca St. James wrote:

“Do people know by our actions and lifestyles that we’re Christians? Can people see a love, a joy, and a sense of purpose and hope that can come only from knowing Jesus? Can people see a difference in us? More important, what does God see when He looks at our hearts? I hope that He finds deeply imprinted the words, ‘God rules here!’”

Different. It is a scary word. We don’t want to be different. To be different means to be unlike; distinct; not the same. Human nature tells us that we need to be part of the group, like everyone else. It is embarrassing to stand out and to have people know that we are not like them.

The sad truth is that many people would have no idea that we are Christians by watching us live. We watch the same shows on Television, tell the same jokes, make fun of the same people, and wear the same clothes. Rather than standing out, and up, for Jesus, we keep him tucked away in our hearts and only bring Him out for special occasions. We will be undignified for God, as long as I am not laughed at.

God has called us to be different. This is not a difference that we can hide or keep to ourselves. The difference that God want us to have is more that coming to worship or Sundays, Bible Study on Wednesday, reading our Bibles in the morning, and praying before we go to sleep. The difference God demands that we have spills over into every area of our life. It is seen in how dress, it is felt in how we treat people, it is heard in the conversation that we have, and is modeled in our behavior. The difference is simply this: living out God’s will.

We sure do a lot of talking about God’s will, but we don’t actually live it. To live it would require us to be different. Our problem is that we don’t want to appear different, so we spend time thinking about what we can get away with doing. “How close to the line can I go without going over?” is the question we ask ourselves. That is not the way it should be.

Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world. (1 Peter 2:11, 12; NLT)

We are to be different, not only for our sakes, but the sake of the people around us. When we seek to live as close to the line as possible we allow us selves to play around with the evil desires that fight against us. It is these evil desires that Satan uses to cause us to sin. They are just too dangerous to play with.

Being different gives other people the opportunity to see God at work and a chance to believe. Even if they don’t believe now, Peter says that our different lives will give them cause to believe and glorify God when Jesus returns.

Are you being different? Do you want to do God’s will or follow your heart? My challenge to you is: Live as a foreigner!

Getting to the Right Place

Life is unpredictable. Regardless of the plans we may make it rarely works out the way we hoped. It is the rare person who is experiencing life the way they imagined it would be. Far too often life is filled with disappointments that force us to cope with life rather than live life. When life doesn’t turn out the way we planned we have no other option but to deal the best we can as we adapt to the new circumstances.

Following Jesus doesn’t change any of this reality. In fact, many times makes it far worse because we have this unspoken expectation that God should give us the life that we want, which of course ignores the life God created us to live. To get us to where we need to be Jesus will ask us to lay down our plans and follow Him into the uncertainty of the future. If we are unwilling to trust Him with our future, He will, at times, allow our dreams to shatter so that we will be forced to discover the life He wants us to live.

Another frustrating aspect of this whole process is that God doesn’t treat us all the same. For some God allows some great tragedy to take place their lives to prepare them for what lies ahead. Others will have constant small obstacles thrown into their paths which will teach them endurance and trust. Still others will seem to go through life with no trouble at all. When we compare our lives to the lives of those around us will begin to feel like God is being unfair to us because God isn’t treat us like He treated someone else and we will begin to exaggerate the difficulties in our lives while minimizing the troubles of other people.

Think about Joseph, the son of Jacob, for a minute. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how unfair some of the circumstances in his life were. Joseph experienced slavery and false imprisonment in a foreign land while his brothers enjoyed freedom in their homeland. How can that be fair?

Yet, what we discover on the other side of these experiences, when Joseph’s family was forced to come to Egypt because of famine, everyone had changed. Joseph’s brothers did not have an easy life at home because of the guilt they carried for selling Joseph into slavery. The lives of Joseph's brothers were not as easy as they seemed. Joseph was changed and prepared for leadership through the struggles of his life, which forced him to trust God for guidance, wisdom, and strength.

While going through the difficulties of life things didn’t make sense to Joseph, but God used the evil for good in his life and the lives of his family. Things will not always make sense, but we must trust that God will do what is right if we ever hope to have our struggles redeemed for blessings.

In the midst of struggles there are only two actions that we can do. First, we must be faithful to God no matter what. Joseph ran way from the temptation of Potiphar's wife because he was not going to betray God and sin. Second, we need to do our best in the circumstances that we find ourselves in. Joseph didn't give up, but he worked and fulfilled his responsibilities, and that is precisely what God is asking us to do. Continue on with life and give it your all.

When we remain faithful in even the toughest of circumstances God is able to use us to impact the lives of others and in the process we will get a little closer to the life God wants us to live. How we live is far more important than any position or prestige we might think is so valuable. Character and faith in the end trumps power and fame.

Part of the struggle I have had in life is that I have thought that what I needed was the right ministry position in order to make a difference in the lives of people. It was about the position, the title, and the recognition, and I justified my coveting these things by saying, "If I had those things then I could have an impact in this world." This runs contrary to what Jesus taught. Kingdom power is not found in position but in service. It is not about being the greatest but about being the least. It is when we give our lives away in service that we are truly able to impact those around us.

For us to be truly Kingdom people we need to be humble, and sadly, for us to learn to be humble God has to take us through the depths of life so we will learn to trust Him. When we are humble we put others ahead of ourselves and are willing to serve the least in this world, and that is the place God wants all of us to be. God wants us to get to the right place, but don't be surprised when you have to go through the valleys to get there.

A Mark of Maturity

Author Dallas Willard in his book The Spirit of the Disciplines wrote; “Here as always—whether in our natural life or in our spiritual life—the mark of disciplined persons is that they are able to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.” (p. 151) It is the disciplined person who is able to come through in the clutch and does not allow the pressure of the moment to rattle him/her from accomplishing what needs to be done.

It was the discipline of shooting thousands of baskets that enabled basketball legend Larry Bird to be such a great clutch performer. Without the hours of intense practice Bird would never have been able to hit as many last second shots as he did. It wasn’t about having good intentions, but it was about training his body to respond in a certain way, and that is what made it possible for him to be so great.

We understand the importance of discipline in the arenas of sports and music, but often we neglect it when it comes to living a life of faith. Somehow we have told ourselves that what matters are our good intentions, and if we are willing to follow Jesus then that is good enough. The problem is that when the chips are down and life is stacked against us we often fail. We can’t come through in the clutch because we have not trained our bodies to respond in the right way. Let’s face it; many of us are undisciplined.

I would guarantee that if we examined the lives of people who are considered to have a mature faith one thing they all would have in common is discipline. Granted they may not call it discipline, but they would have certain activities that they were devoted to doing which would express their commitment to Christ Jesus.

A verse that has come to mean a lot to me the past few months is Acts 2:42. In this verse Luke shares with us four activities that the earlier church devoted themselves to doing.

And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. (ESV)

As the Church exploded on to the scene the Apostles made sure that the new Believers were involved in activities that would encourage these new disciples and would help them mature in their faith. Being disciplined is essential if we are going to be mature disciples of Christ.

Consider what the apostle Paul wrote about who he lived his life:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27; ESV)

Paul compares his walk with Christ to an athlete preparing to compete in the games. The athlete is disciplined in his/her practice so they will be able to perform to the best of their ability and when the prize. According to Paul that is an illustration for how we are to live our lives: we are to discipline our bodies and learn to control them. Maturing in faith isn’t just a matter of knowing more or having the proper intentions, but it is about training our bodies to respond to the good desires of our new hearts. We are to discipline our bodies so we can respond in love when others respond in hate, so we can respond with joy for another person’s success rather than being jealous, or so we can give generously rather than greedily horde what we have. If we are going to live like Jesus, then we need to discipline our bodies to respond to the new heart He has given us.

Erwin McManus in his little book Stand Against the Wind wrote:

There is a process in our becoming all that God created us to be. This is the human side of divine change. Transformation is both the miracle of God and the stewardship of man. Godliness is a result of both divine activity and human action. God promises to do what we cannot do for ourselves, and He commands us to do that which He will not do for us. There is both miracle and responsibility. God entrusts us with His resources, and then He holds us accountable for what we do with them.” (p. 46)

Foundational to what I am saying is that our transformation and salvation are the miracles of God. We cannot achieve true transformation, a total change of heart, without the initiative and action of God. That is where it all starts, and so I am not advocating some form of humanism here, but rather I want to point out that we have a responsibility to nurture and grow this wonderful gift that God has given to us. To be disciplined means to be good stewards of what God has done for us.

What disciplines do we need in our lives in order to be good stewards of the new life we have in Christ Jesus? I think a good place to start, because it comes right out of the Bible, are the four activities of Acts 2:42. I would simply want to point out that the third activity, the breaking of bread, means the Lord’s Supper. This is a debatable issue, but in my study I have come to believe that is what it this phrase means in this context. One of the reasons I want to emphasis this because it is important for us to have a way to re-commit our lives to God’s Kingdom after we have stumbled and sinned.

If we are going to mature as disciples of Christ Jesus then it is essential that we have in our lives certain disciplines that help teach our bodies to live by faith. That is why one of the marks of mature Christians is their commitment to certain activities that they have found help them stay connected to Christ. If we are to follow their example then we need to have similar activities as a part of our lives. Isn’t it about time that we live a disciplined life?

Rescued From Empty Living

Are you satisfied with your life? I know that I am not. Just today I allowed myself to get discouraged as I thought about all the things I haven’t done: write a book, speak at a large conference, get married. As we contemplate our lives it is easy to focus on all the things we haven’t achieved and think that our lives are empty and meaningless.

You want to know a little secret? It doesn’t matter how successful we might be our lives are empty without Jesus. No matter how great our accomplishments are they are unable to provide us with the hope that we truly need for life. Remember this: Being a success doesn’t make life worth living!

It is easy to think of people who are successful in the different areas of life. From Donald Trump to Tim Duncan we can point to men and women who have experienced success in their life. Many times they have experienced this success without any faith in Jesus Christ. Which at times can cause us as Christians, to become discouraged. The reason we become discouraged is because we have been trained to view success in the same terms as the world does. This results in our measuring the importance of our lives by the amount of money in our bank accounts, the power at our fingertips, or the influential connections in our address book.

The problem is that sooner or later these types of things will not make any difference in our lives. What good is it to have money we are unable to spend? What power can we keep once we are six feet under? What connections will help us once we are dead? King Solomon, a man who had it all, wrote:

“Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes. The sun rises and the sun sets, then hurries around to rise again. The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles. Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers and flows out again to the sea. Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content. History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. Sometimes people say, “Here is something new!” But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new. We don’t remember what happened in the past, and in future generations, no one will remember what we are doing now. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-11; NLT)

Solomon took a long look at his life and came to the realization that everything that he did, whether it was good or evil, was ultimately futile. Time and death are great equalizers since they render much, if not all, of our success as irrelevant. We can give our lives away to wonderful ideals and accomplish great things, but death still robs us of all our success.

How can we avoid living the futile life? We escape the futile life by following Jesus Christ. The apostle Peter wrote:

For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but he has now revealed him to you in these last days. Through Christ you have come to trust in God. And you have placed your faith and hope in God because he raised Christ from the dead and gave him great glory. (1 Peter 1:18-21; NLT)

God wants to save us from a life made empty and meaningless by sin and death. He does this by providing us with hope of a better life to come. Earlier in 1 Peter the Apostle describes it as a living hope (1 Peter 1:3) which is made possible by the resurrection of Jesus Christ and discovered through a life of faith. For the follower of Jesus success is measured differently than it is measured by the world. Success for the Christ Follower is discovered by faithfully following Jesus no matter what happens in our lives. When we whole-heartedly follow Jesus we discover life the way it is meant to be lived.

Sunday Quote: Shape a Nation

“It is the people of God who can truly shape a nation. Many look to great leaders or powerful governments to shape a nation. But most likely, leaders and governments will not restore a nation once it is on the downward slide. While leaders and governments can influence a nation, there is no group of people who can determine the coming years of a nation like God’s people” ~ Henry Blackaby, Holiness, p. 1

A Great Gift

I was pondering my life last night and I came to the realization that I am not perfect. I know this may come as a shock to you, but the reality is that I struggle with temptation and sin in my life. There is no doubt that I wish this wasn’t the case, but it is the truth.

When I take time to think about my sin I become so angry. I desperately want to do better and live a righteous life. It is so tiring to struggle and struggle with the same sin and I begin to wonder if I will if change. I just don't have the strength or the self-control to overcome the evil that is in my life.

At times like these it is so wonderful to remember God's amazing grace. God is not up in Heaven waiting for us to sin so He can punish us. God sits on His throne with so much love for us, wanting us to have the wonderful life He created us to have. He weeps for us because He knows the consequences of our sins take us far away from the life we are to live. Sin prevents us for truly enjoying the life God has given to us.

What is the answer to this life of sin? In a word it is God’s grace. What is grace? Grace is God's way of saying, “I love you even though you have hurt Me." Sin is always first and foremost against God, and it always damages the relationship we are intended to have with Him. The consequences of our sin have us bound and we do not have the strength to break free. God comes to us and offers us the key to escape the power of sin.

The first key of grace comes in the form of Jesus Christ.
Through His death and resurrection the penalty of our sin is dealt with. I will be honest with you salvation is a great mystery to me. I don’t understand how one man’s death pays for all of our sins. It doesn’t seem to add up in my mind. And while I don’t understand it the resurrection of Jesus gives me confidence that my sins are taken care of and that I have been given new life. I believe the testimony of the New Testament that without Jesus the wages of sin is death, but with Jesus our sins are removed and we can stand before God with confidence.

The second key of grace is the presence of the Holy Spirit.
While Jesus takes care of the penalty of our sin, the Holy Spirit gives us the strength and guidance we need to overcome the everyday sin we have in our lives. With the Holy Spirit's help we are able to overcome the problems sin puts in our relationship with God, and helps us to pursue the life we were created to live. Since the Holy Spirit is key to living a righteous life and overcoming sin it is important that we provide Him with the tools to guide us. Study of the Bible, prayer, and fellowship with other Christians are essentials for a Spirit guided life.

Grace is an essential part of our life as Christians. It is this idea that makes Christianity different from every other religion. The reason is because grace says that salvation depends, not on our righteous living, but God’s mercy and compassion. Consider what the apostle Paul wrote about God’s grace:

For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with self-control, right conduct, and devotion to God, while we look forward to that wonderful event when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing what is right. (Titus 2:11-14; NLT)

The reason we can look forward to the wonderful event of Jesus' return isn't because of the righteous life we have lived, but because of God's grace seen in Jesus' sacrifice and the gift of the Holy Spirit. Our righteousness has little to do with our behavior and everything to do with God's gift.

Please remember that while sin is a part of our lives we shouldn’t let it get us down. God has given us His grace. This is not a license to sin, but a second chance to trust God and commit ourselves to once again do His will. Real eternal life is not the result of our good and righteous lives, but the gracious gift of God. May we live our lives in grateful response to this reality.

Make the Effort

As I grow older the more aware I am of the passing moments of life. The younger you are the easier it is to put things off by saying, "I will do it tomorrow". With each passing day time slips through our fingers. We have to remember that we only have a limited supply of tomorrows, and we don't know when they will run out. The good intentions that we have will remain undone if we don't begin to make an effort to accomplish them.

We all have dreams, goals, and passions that we would like to accomplish. Maybe you want to start improving the relationship you have with a distant brother/sister or maybe start to pursue a romantic relationship. Perhaps you want to write a book or go back to college. Maybe you want to change careers or start your own business. Perhaps you want to serve God in a new capacity or go on some type of missions trip. We will not accomplish any of it unless we put forth the effort to accomplish them.

Tomorrow will not be any less busy than today is. We can be certain that tomorrow will bring with it a new set of troubles and expectations. The only way to achieve the good we wish to accomplish today is to start taking the steps we need to do in order to accomplish our dreams and goals. Sooner or later we will realize that tomorrow will not come and the chances we had in the past are now forever lost.

The big problem I face in this process is the lure of entertainment. It is so easy to get sucked into watching that next TV show we were told we couldn't miss or to watch the latest movies releases so we can have something to talk about with our friends and family.

The hours spent watching TV shows, movies, playing video games, and surfing the net are hours that we could have spent doing something productive. Entertainment keeps us from using the blessings God has given us when we allow it to consume our lives. I am not saying the entertainment is evil, what I am saying is that when we allow the entertainment industry to consume us we waste the time, money, and talents God has blessed us with. We have to realize that one of the victims of our over indulgence of entertainment and other distractions are the good intentions of our lives. Lost are the relationships we wanted to cultivate, the projects we wanted to complete, and the people we wanted to help.

Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23-25; NLT)

There are two points I would like to draw from this passage in Hebrews. First we are to encourage each other "to outbursts of love and good deeds" It so much easier to accomplish the good we intend to do if we have people in our lives encouraging us to do the right thing rather than enabling us to waste the time God has granted. if we do not have people in our corner urging us on is so easy just to be swept along by the current of everyday demands. Encouragement is needed if we are going to make good on the intentions that we have.

There is is a flip side to this as well. If we expect encouragement then it is very important that we offer encouragement. We cannot expect from others what we are not willing to give. I believe that was we get involved in the lives of other people we will find ourselves being more intentional with the way we use our time.

Second point is "that the day of his coming back is drawing near". Jesus never gave us a blue print by which we are to map His return. The "signs" that so many point to are so general that they can apply to almost any age, and as we look at history we will notice that they have been. That doesn't mean the Jesus isn't coming back, but it does mean that we can't predict when He will return. Even if Jesus doesn't come back in our lifetime (though I have a belief in my heart that He will) we still have the fact that with each passing day our death becomes more of a reality. We can only put things off for so long before time and death catches up to us. Then it will not matter what our good intentions were because they have simply remained intentions.

We can intend to do good all we want, but if we never start to work toward accomplishing them they won't mean a thing. Unlike in gift giving it is not the thought that counts. It comes down to whether or not we will use what God has given us to accomplish the good works that He has called us to do. What are you doing to accomplish the good you want to do?

Turn to God for Forgiveness

It is never easy to admit that we have made a mistake. The bigger the mistake the more we want to hide it, deny it, or ignore it. So it is no wonder when it comes to sin, our sin, we have such a hard time confessing it, even to God. Many of us are carrying around the baggage of guilt for past sins and the chains of habit for present sins while are lives become more and more complicated.

I find it hard to confess my sins to God and seek forgiveness because I am so embarrassed about my weakness. After all I should know better! If I truly had faith I wouldn’t behave is such a manner. So I keep my distant from God because I don’t want to appear like a fool before Him.

Perhaps you struggle with seeking forgiveness because you are afraid of God. There is a voice inside of you telling you that if you confess your sins to God then He will punish you. After all isn’t God out to get all the lawbreakers?

In his book Created to Be God’s Friend Henry Blackaby wrote; “When a child of God sins, what he does next will reveal his heart-relationship with God! Faith in God always returns a person to God for forgiveness. Faith always trusts and obeys.” (pp. 88-89)

Faith is a by-product of trust. The question we need to ask ourselves is this: Do I trust God to forgive me? If we don’t trust God to forgive then we won’t return to Him and confess our sins. We will run away and hide. We will ignore the sin that is ruining our lives. We will do every thing we can think of except turn to God.

Let’s stop and think about this situation we find ourselves in. Is there any reason why we should trust God to forgive us? Of course there is and that reason is Jesus Christ. The life, death, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ is the evidence we need to understand that God is willing to forgive us. No matter who we are or what we have done God is waiting to forgive us for what we have done.

The writer of the book of Hebrews gave us this gem of truth:

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. (NLT)

How do we come before the throne of God? First it requires our surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord. If we are not willing to be a follower of Jesus then it is impossible for us to receive God’s grace of forgiveness. Jesus is the High Priest who has prepared the way to God. There is no other way to God except through Him.

Second we need to confess our sins to God through prayer. God knows our sins, but we need to acknowledge our sins to Him. This is an act of trust. We lay our sins at His feet so He can deal with them, rather than trying to deal with them ourselves.

Third we need to worship God. From singing God’s praises to serving a person in need it is important that we set our hearts to obey that greatest of commandments: To love God with our entire being.

As long as we live in these bodies of flesh sin will be a part of our lives. Not only do we need constantly struggle with sin as we try to eliminate it from our lives as much as possible, but we also have to learn to trust God to forgive us when we do sin. God is gracious and willing to forgive us if we will just return to Him and ask for it.

Life is a Struggle

It is no secret that life is hard. Even when we are following Jesus and doing God’s will life doesn’t get any easier. There is a part of us, even though it has never been promised, which expects things to be easy if we are living by faith. We want to be validated and reassured that we are doing the right thing.

Though I think that it would make sense that if we are truly doing God’s will then things would be difficult. Why do I think that? I think things would be difficult because the enemy is opposed to God. If we are making progress in overcoming sin in our lives, if we participating in the relationships God wants us to be a part of, if we are part of a ministry making a difference in the community, or if we are standing up for what is right then we shouldn’t be surprised if things are not easy. In fact, I might even suggest that if things are easy it might be time to evaluate what we are doing.

True we can’t evaluate things solely on the basis of whether things are going well or not. Sometimes things will go well even though it is God’s will and sometimes things will be a struggle even though it goes against God’s law. All I want to do is point out that struggling isn’t a bad thing. When God’s will become a struggle gives us an opportunity to grow and will help us appreciate what God has done for us on the other side of that struggle.

In the midst of the struggle we need to remember what Jesus said to the church in Smyrna:

“I know about your suffering and your poverty—but you are rich! I know the blasphemy of those opposing you. They say they are Jews, but they are not, because their synagogue belongs to Satan. Don’t be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The devil will throw some of you into prison to test you. You will suffer for ten days. But if you remain faithful even when facing death, I will give you the crown of life.

"Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches. Whoever is victorious will not be harmed by the second death." (Revelation 2:9-11; NLT)

Jesus tells this group of Christ Followers not to give up in the face of persecution. “Hang in there,” He says, “this won’t last forever.” Our struggle may not be persecution, it could be as simple as circumstances not turning out the way we expected. Often reality isn’t anything like our dreams and when that is the case we wonder if we are in the right place. We ask ourselves, "Should I have faith continue on or should I just give up?"

I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules for such situations, but let me offer you a few thoughts. First, is your struggle tied to right and faithful living? If it is then we are doing what God wants us to do. When our desire is to honor God, encourage people, help others, and grow in our knowledge and faith; then there are a lot of places we can go and things we can do and yet remain in God’s will. These are certainly things that Satan would oppose, so if you are being faithful and loving God and loving people and things are a struggle, I would encourage you to stay faithful, because most likely you are in the right place.

Second, let go of your dreams. I think God allows us to struggle sometimes because our dreams need to be changed. We are missing out on the life God wants us to live because we are clinging too tightly to the dreams we have for our lives. Even good dreams need to be put aside in order to experience God’s best for our lives. Laying aside our dreams is an act of faith because we have come to believe that only in those dreams will we discover happiness. When we lay them down we are show our total reliance on God to bring joy into our lives.

A last thought I would offer is to get the opinions of different Christian people. These could be people you are close to or just acquainted with, but they need to be people you respect and who live faithful lives. While we need to evaluate what they say, more than likely they will help us see things from a knew perspective. Too often we get so close to the situation that we fail to see the entire picture. The perspective of other Christians can help us see things more clearly.

Life is tough. Just because life is tough doesn’t mean that we are not doing God’s will. Often the struggle is an indication that we are doing what God wants us to do and that we are being opposed by the Enemy. We need to stay faithful, and in the end we will experience the life God created us to live.

A New Way of Living

In his book The Spirit of the Disciplines author Dallas Willard writes; “Jesus’ teaching does not lay out safe generalizations by which we can engineer a happy life. Instead, it is designed to startle us out of our prejudices and direct us into a new way of thinking and acting.” (p. 205) Jesus didn’t come to live and to die so we could have the life that we always wanted. Instead, Jesus came to give us the life that we truly needed, and that should look radically different from the sort comfortable life we imagined ourselves living.

I think most of us recognize that our lives are a mess. Certainly some of us have more of a mess than others, but none of us have been able to escape the hurt, the addictions, the guilt, the shame, or any of the other consequences of living in a world dominated by sin. Not only do we need someone to come and clean the mess up for us, but we also need to be taught how to avoid making messes in the future. The life that is available in Christ Jesus isn’t just a life that is cleansed of sin by the atonement, but it is also a life that is guided by the Spirit into good works. In other words we don’t just add Jesus to our lives to escape the consequences of sin, but we surrender our lives to His guidance so we can live the life that He created us to live.

Think on what the apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 2:20; I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (ESV) Is that the way you would describe your life? The Christian is to live his or her life the way Christ would have them live.

How is that possible? It is possible when we familiarize ourselves with Jesus’ teachings. This requires us to spend time in the Bible reading and studying what it contains, especially the New Testament, which contains Jesus’ teachings and the teachings of His earliest disciples. So many people are led astray because they think they have a general understanding of what Jesus said, but they have never truly taken to heart His teachings.

We can live our lives as Jesus would live them when we follow the example of Jesus. Again this requires us to be familiar with what the New Testament says, particularly the Gospels which tell us about Jesus’ life. In the Gospels we read that Jesus took time to pray, to fast, to serve, to study Scripture, and to seek times of solitude. These were disciplines Jesus did in order to maintain a connection with His Father in Heaven. It was through this connection with the Father that guided Jesus in His ministry (John 17:4). If Jesus found that these disciplines were necessary for maintaining His connection with the Father, then it would seem to me that these disciplines would be essential for us to live the life we were created to live. Spiritual disciplines are not about earning God’s favor or earning salvation, but rather they are about learning to live a life that is guided by the Spirit.

There is more to Jesus’ example. His example shows us that we are to love all people, not just those who are easy to love. While the world pulls us towards the rich and famous, the way of Jesus pulls us towards the down and out. Instead of using people in ways that benefit us, the way of Jesus tells us to find people we can serve who will not be able to pay us back in kind.

Last of all, if we are going to allow Jesus to live our lives we need to check the motivation of our hearts. Much of the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) deals with the reality that the heart of the matter is the heart. It isn’t enough not to do evil, but we have to understand the motivation of our hearts. When the heart isn’t right then it really doesn’t matter what we do. How can we fix our heart? The only way I know of dealing with a heart problem is through prayer. We need to ask God to bind up our broken hearts and to restore our souls. As our hearts are healed and we are restored to wholeness we are better able to live life in a brand new way.

We must never leave what Christ has done for us at forgiveness of our sins. That is a great and wonderful gift, but His death and resurrection is a promise of so much more. Through Jesus Christ we are able to finally live life; life the way it was originally designed to be lived.

That Type of Faith

"The goal has become to make sure beliefs are doctrinally sound and people have a growing knowledge of the Bible, rather than to live in a dynamic, fluid relationship with God through which we learn to hear the voice of God and move in response to him." ~ Erwin McManus; An Unstoppable Force

What Erwin McManus mentions about a corporate failing for the Church I believe is a personal failure for me. Knowledge and correct doctrine are essential to living a life of faith, but they are not faith. They are guidelines or markers along the road of faith, but they do not necessarily mean a person is faithful.

Faith is much more about how we live then it is about what we believe. The mark of great faith is not superior knowledge but superior trust. We can know the Bible from the front to the back, but if it is not applied to how we live our lives than it just a bunch of nice sayings. The person of faith applies God's Word to his/her life.

I struggle with this. It is so much easier to know things about the Bible, and thus know things about God, than it is to step into the unknown trusting solely on God's Word. It is easier to read the Bible than it is to love your neighbor, and yet true faith demands that we love our neighbor and not merely agree that it is the second most important commandment.

My prayer is that I will have a relationship with God and not merely be content on knowing a few facts about Him. I want to live a life of faith and not just increase my knowledge on what the Bible says. How do I do this? The answer is obedience. When I obey what God has commanded me to do I experience God at work in the world around me and I develop a greater trust in Him and His Word. If I never seek to obey God beyond the Bible's teaching of morality, then I will miss out on experiencing God and never develop my trust in who God is.

Faith is an essential part of our lives. Without it we will never become the people God wants us to be and we will never experience the personal relationship with God that He has made possible. Faith is not just about what we know about God, but it is about our obedience to Him. In this Abraham is our great example: when God said go Abraham went. That is the type of faith I want.

Sunday Quote: A Great Deception

"One of the greatest deceptions in the practice of the Christian religion is the idea that all that really matters is our internal feelings, ideas, beliefs, and intentions. It is this mistake about the psychology of the human being that more than anything else divorces salvation from life, leaving us a headful of vital truths about God and a body unable to fend off sin." ~ Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines, p. 152

It Is All About Love

{Revelation 2:2-4; NLT}
"I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don't tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. But I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first."

The church at Ephesus was a church that had taken a stand. They did not tolerate evil and they made sure truth was taught. These Christians suffered for the name of Jesus. I believe that if this church were around today we would look at it as a model. It would be a true Bible-believing-truth-telling church!

For all the good things this church was doing they had missed the point. Yes, they valued truth and morality, but they forgot the most important thing: Love. Jesus wants us to understand that the most important thing we can have in our church families and in our lives is love. Without love everything we do is meaningless. The first 3 verses of 1 Corinthians 13 stresses this point: but if I didn't love others, it would be of no value whatsoever. (v. 3; NLT) Love is essential for the life God created us to live.

How is our love for Jesus seen? Ultimately it is not seen in the stands we take or the truth we proclaim. Our love for Jesus is seen in our obedience to His commands. "If you love me, obey my commandments." (John 14:15; NLT) Don't limit obedience to the don'ts of scripture. Obedience isn't just about morality, but it is also about fulfilling our responsibility to love God and to love people.

Our love for Jesus comes out in our commitment to the Great Commission. In other words it is about reaching out and making disciples, and not just shouting the truth from the rooftops. Making disciples involves more than just sharing the truth with people, it is also about showing God's goodness to the world.

When we love Jesus not only will we proclaim the truth, but we will also show compassion. It is easy to stand up and tell people the truth God has revealed in the Bible, it is something entirely different to love people indiscriminately.

The Ephesian Church had no trouble with the truth, but they did have trouble with love. First they lost the love they had for Jesus and that flowed into a lack of love for people. To be the church God wants us to be we have to love Jesus first, and allow that love to affect every other relationship we have.

This is what I want you to understand: We can be right all we want, but if we don't show compassion to others we will be ignored. If we love Jesus we will try to love people the way He loved people.

Have A Pure Heart

{Matthew 5:8; NLT}
God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

Purity is not something most of us seek to have. Most people, Christian included, want to know what they can get away with or how close to the line they can be without stepping over. By doing this we have trained our hearts to desire the rotten ways of this world rather than the glorious way of God. In short we have to get serious about purity. Jesus tells us that it are the pure who see God. How important is purity in your life?

Purity is not only the absence of evil in our lives, but it is also the commitment to do good with our lives. Having a desire for purity means we are committed to Jesus and that we will go wherever He leads and that we will do whatever He says. Jesus will lead us to a life of purity if we are truly following Him. If we are unwilling to follow Jesus, if we are not willing to live a life of purity, the presence of sin in our lives will eat away at our hearts.

We can hide sin from each other, at least for awhile, but we can’t keep it from corrupting our lives. Our hidden sin will bring our lives tumbling down. Like rot eating way at the inside of a tree, sin eats away at our hearts. The tree may look solid, but the wind storm will eventually reveal what has been happening. We may have a good religious exterior, but the storms of this life will eventually reveal what has been happening all along.

When we are not committed to purity we put up roadblocks that hinder our spiritual growth. Instead of being able to mature in our relationship with God we find that we are constantly fighting the same battles of sin, fear, and uncertainty. Rather than experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit we continually feel weak and ineffective. Only when we decide to take a stand against sin will we be able to become the people God has created us to be.

According to Jesus the Pharisees and other religious teachers of His day were more concerned with their religious exterior than having a pure heart. This is what Jesus said to them:

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness” (Matthew 23:27-28; NLT).

We can do all the religious deeds that we want to do but they will not matter if our hearts are not pure. Our thoughts and desires are just as important as what we do. Why? Because eventually our lives will reflect the desires of our hearts.

Purity in our hearts begins with what we think about. Jesus taught:

“It is what comes from inside that defiles you. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.” (Mark 7:20-23; NLT)

How do we this? It begins by what we choose to think about. The apostle Paul tells us:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—keep thinking about these things. Likewise, keep practicing these things: what you have learned, received, heard, and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9; NLT).

Purity is something we must value. It is only through purity that we are able to experience all that God has in store for us. Purity is the result of not only avoiding evil, but also doing the right things. If we want purity in our lives it begins with thinking about the right things. This requires getting rid of the things that help us focus on the wrong and start putting into our minds the things that help us focus on the right. Purity never happens by accident; it is always the result of an intentional effort to make things clean.

Follow Their Example

Originally posted on Tuesday February 15, 2005

{ Hebrews 6:ll-12; NLT}
Our great desire is that you will keep right on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God's promises because of their faith and patience.

It is important, no it is essential, to have people in our lives who model Christian living for us. We need people to follow and who can teach us how to navigate this life in a right and holy manner. If we simply travel this journey by ourselves, seeking to make it on our own, then we will wind up in big trouble. Role models are essential if we are going to discover the way God wants us to live.

These role models can come in various forms. They can be people with whom we have an actual relationship. People whom we can watch, observe, question, interact with, and respond to our questions. These people are the best suited to teach us how to live our faith each and every day. Kevin Perdew, a youth minister I met when I was an 8th grader at church camp was a wonderful example of this for me. He took and interest in me and helped me understand a little bit better how to be like Jesus.

Our role models can be authors and teachers,but people with whom we have very little contact. Through their writings and teachings we can be inspired to improve our relationship with God and to change our lives. Erwin McManus has been this for me. Ever since I heard him at the National Youth Leaders Convention in 2003 I have been inspired by what he has written and what he teaches.

Role models are also found in people long gone. The Bible provides us with many people who were examples of great faith. People we can read about and discover how they handled the difficulties of life. One of my heroes is Jonathan. Not only did he have the courage in 1 Samuel 14 to take on the Philistine army, but he had a love for David and the faith in God to step away from kingship and allow David to become king. Jonathan is an overlooked man of faith in the Bible.

Role models provide us with an example to follow. We need these examples in our lives if we are to reach our potential as followers of Christ. The writer of Hebrews writes that if we don't follow the examples of the men and women of faith who have gone before us we will be in danger of becoming spiritual dull and indifferent, and therefore, we will miss out on what God has for our lives.

It is never enough to remain where we are at when it comes to our relationship with God. We must constantly be moving where He leads us to go. If we are going to make a difference in this world it is going to happen because we are following those faithful few who have gone before us. Through their example and inspiration we can avoid become spiritually dull and make a big impact in the world. It is time to follow the leader.

The Ability to Make a Difference

{Matthew 5:13-16; ESV}

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

When Jesus taught He would take everyday examples that His listeners would understand. The elements of salt and light that Jesus used in this teaching are elements that were not only relevant to the original hears, but they are also relevant to us. We understand the influence both salt and light have in our lives.

Food is transformed when a little salt is added to it. Salt has this amazing ability, when used in the right amount, not only to add its distinctive flavor, but also to bring out the natural flavor of the food that we are eating. That is why many of us have a salt shaker on the table, because of its ability to enhance the flavor of our food.

Light, likewise, has the ability to transform. In our day and age we can take a room that is in complete darkness and fill it with light with the flip of a switch. What is truly amazing to me about light is how powerful even the smallest bit of light can be. The small flame of a candle can provide enough light to see by in a very dark room.

Jesus pulls these two examples out of life and tells us that we need to be like them. I believe what Jesus is telling us is that we are to make a difference in the part of the world in which we live. Take a moment and thin about what that means. What does it mean to be salt and light?

The first thing that pops into my mind is that it means that we have a purpose. Our lives can make a difference! None of us are condemned to living a life that lacks the power to make a difference. God has blessed each of us with talents and resources we can use to bless the lives of other people. This thought should give each of us hope.

So if we have this ability to make a difference we need to consider another question: How do live as salt and light in the world?

We do this by following the example of salt and light. Salt has the power to transform food when it comes into contact with our food. Light has the power to transform a room when it is unleashed to shine. In other words the salt is useless if it stays in the shaker and the light is powerless if it is never turned out. This means the first step in making a difference in the world is engaging the world in real and meaningful ways.

The primary way we engage the world is through relationships. In relationships we are able to meet real people exactly where they are in life. We interact with them in the pains and in the joys, in their defeats and in their victories, and in their struggles and in their successes. Without this real life contact we will never be able to make a difference in the world.

If we are going to have influence in our relationships which leads to change we have to be compassionate. We can’t tell someone we care about them and then do nothing about the real problems they are experiencing in their lives. Consider what the apostle John wrote in 1 John 3:16-18; By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed (ESV). Unless our talk about love is backed up by the actions of love our talk is absolutely worthless. We may not be able to meet every need a person has, but there is also something that we can do to show people that we love them. Make sure you are asking God to open your eyes to the opportunities to love that are all around you.

I think another crucial part of influence is integrity. People not only have to know what we believe, but they also have to see it lived out in our lives. In other words our walk needs to match our talk. The apostle Peter has this to say about the issue of integrity: Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world (1 Peter 2:12; NLT). It might seem like we are not making much of a difference in this world, but when we live with integrity when the end comes, those who were able to observe our lives will be forced to honor God because our example left them without an excuse not to believe in Christ Jesus. Make sure you are asking God to give you wisdom and strength so you are able to live a life of integrity.

We may feel like we don’t have what it takes to make a difference in this big bad world of ours, but Jesus sees things differently. He sees us as the salt of the earth and the lights of the world, and He believes we are able to make a difference in the part of world we live. It is time to get out of the shaker, to flip the switch, and to start making a difference in our world.

What Makes a Man a Man?

All of creation needs men to be men. If a male doesn’t accept his design to be a man, bad things happen. Essentially that is what Genesis 3 shows us, sin entered the world because Adam refused to be a man. If the world needs men we need to ask ourselves the question: What makes a man a man? I hope that you will share your thoughts as well, because what I am going share is in no way exhaustive. These are just a few thoughts I have had over the last few days.

I believe that the Church needs to do a better job at teaching our young people what it means to be created in God’s image and what it means to be a man or a woman. I know this becomes a touchy subject because sometimes it seems that in doing so women are reduced to second class citizens. Before I get started I want to remind us of two very important things. First, women are the crown of God’s creation. God started with plant life, then it was fish and birds, which then paved the way for the animals on the land, and finally it came to man. After a time when Adam realized he needed a helper God created Eve. The second idea is connected to the first idea: being a helper shouldn’t be considered inferior. This word is also used for God as He helps people, and God is not inferior to man. Eve was Adam’s helpmate, not because she was inferior to Adam, but because she was to join Adam in fulfilling God’s call to rule over creation.

With that being said I think there are three areas that we need emphasize if we are going to properly train boys to be men. These are areas which cannot developed simply by teaching a lesson, rather they have to be experienced. In other words if the Church is going to do this it will not be the result of Bible Study, but the result of discipleship.

The first area we must develop is courage. I believe this a basic difference between men and women. That is not to say that women cannot be courageous, because they can be, and are. It is to say that it is a man’s responsibility to be the first to take the stand. He has to be the one who takes the punishment so his family and friends don’t have to. If a man only stands up in support of the stand his wife took, allowing her to be the courageous one, then something is wrong. Men need the attitude that Jonathan displayed 1 Samuel 14:6 “Let’s go across to the outpost of those pagans,” Jonathan said to his armor bearer. “Perhaps the Lord will help us, for nothing can hinder the Lord. He can win a battle whether he has many warriors or only a few!” (NLT). Perhaps the Lord will help, Jonathan says. He had no guarantee of victory or life, but he did know what God desired, and so he stepped out in courage to do it.

The second area we must develop is leadership. The apostle Paul wrote; For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior (Ephesians 5:23; NLT). God has ordained men to be leaders. This does not mean men are to be dictators, getting their way, but it does mean that they are to seek to lead their family or church into God’s best. In this Jesus is to be our example. Jesus led by serving, He led by teaching, He led by praying, and He led by dying. Jesus led by doing those things that would bring God’s best into the lives of people. We need to train boys to be a leaders, which will require laying down their wants and desires to do what is best for others, just like Jesus. We need to show them how to listen to the concerns of others and how to make a decision. We need to help them hear God’s voice so they can lead from His guidance.

The third area is responsibility. I think this is the biggest weakness men in our culture have. We have misplaced priorities which leads to a lack of responsibility. Too many men neglect their responsibilities at home and instead focus on their responsibilities at work. This is actually the best case scenario. The worse case scenarios include men who neglect their responsibilities at home and hide away in the fantasy world of sports, pornography, and video games. We need to take a lesson from Boaz. Boaz was a wealthy land owner we read about in the book of Ruth. When Ruth and her mother-in-law return to Israel, it was to Boaz’s field Ruth went to in order to collect grain so the two women could have something to eat. While Boaz wanted to marry Ruth he couldn’t because there was another relative closer to Ruth’s family who had that right. Yet Boaz wasn’t going to leave it at that, so Naomi told Ruth; "Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man won’t rest until he has followed through on this. He will settle it today" (Ruth 3:19; NLT). Once Boaz decided to marry Ruth, he left his responsibility of the harvest in order to settle the matter. In Boaz’s mind his business could wait while he fixed the problem in his relationship. The responsibilities in our relationships are more important than our responsibilities at work. Men need to understand the difference and be willing to make the appropriate sacrifices for his family.

We need to remember that it is not enough just to educate our young people, but we also have to train them. Our society has dropped the ball in developing true men and women, and it is time the Church stepped into the gap and begin to do what we can to train men and women to be the people God created them to be.

Sunday Quote: Wage War Against Sin

"In the same way, God has called us to be the sworn enemies of sin. We are to wage war against it and strive to give it no opportunity in our lives." ~ William Wilberforce, Real Christianity, p. 65

Sent from my iPod

Prepare for Marriage: A Total Life Commitment

The last few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about dating, romantic relationships, and marriage. One of the results that came from all my thinking was a desire to re-confirm my commitment to sexual purity. I decided that one way I could do this was by getting a ring and a chain which I would wear around my neck as a symbol to remind me of the commitment that I was making.

As I was looking at purity rings online I came across a ring that wasn’t a purity ring, but it conveyed the desire that was in my heart. It was a Celtic heart, and like most Celtic art everything was woven together, and as I looked at the ring I knew that was the essence of what I wanted to symbolize. The ring made me realize that the issue of commitment goes beyond sexual purity to include every aspect of my life.

If I want a healthy God-honoring marriage then I need to make a commitment that is larger than the commitment to sexual purity. Sex is just one area of marriage, so my commitment to marriage must include the other areas of my life. Basically the commitment I am making to marriage and my future wife is the same commitment to follow Jesus in every area of my life. The best way I can prepare for marriage is to adjust my life to God’s will. The husband my wife needs is the husband who is following Jesus and knows what it takes to obey God's will, even when it is difficult.

I will bring into marriage, not the man I hope to be, but the man I am. I bring with me all the baggage I have accumulated in life. I bring with me whatever family problems that I might have (thank God I have a wonderful family and so this really isn’t an issue at the moment), the financial debt I have obligated myself to, the emotional and physical health that I have, and the list could go on and on. The bottom line is that we bring all of ourselves, all of our history and experiences, into marriage. The wise Christian will use the time of singleness to prepare their lives for a healthy marriage and to begin the work of becoming the person God created them to be.

I think we begin to do this through prayer. If we want a marriage that is built on a foundation of faith, then we have to be praying for our marriage right now. This is part of the prayer that I have been praying daily for my future wife: “Lord fill her with a knowledge of Your will and with spiritual wisdom and understanding so that she will live a life that is worthy of Your Son Jesus. Help her to put down roots into Christ Jesus so that He will be her source of life.” If we want faith to be part of our marriage, then we need to take the initiative right now and pray for it.

We also need to establish the spiritual disciplines of Bible Study, prayer, service, and worship right now. If these activities aren’t a crucial to our lives before marriage there is no reason to think they will become crucial to our lives after marriage. If you desire to have a marriage that honors God, then you need to establish a life that honors God before you get married. Take advantage of being single to establish your life in Christ Jesus and pursue His calling for your life.

Besides making a commitment to live a spiritual life right now in order to build a marriage on a solid spiritual foundation, I want to share with you four commitments God has revealed to me that I need to make in order to have the marriage I that I desire to have.

The first commitment is the commitment to get out of debt. The only debt that I currently have is student loan debt, and while it is not a huge amount it is something that I need to pay off rather than obligating my wife to take on that extra responsibility. We singles need to remember that the financial decisions we make right now we will carry into marriage. If we want a marriage that is on strong financial footing then it is crucial that we start getting our financial house in order right now. We need to make a budget and figure out how we can pay off our debts as quickly as possible. One of the reasons debt is terrible is because what debt is using tomorrow’s money to buy the things we want today. Debt will only cause problems later on in our marriages and that is why we need to do what we can right now to eliminate it from our lives.

The second commitment is to emotional health. We all have junk in our lives which effects our behavior. One of the sad realities of living in a broken world is that we get hurt, and because we are hurt we find different means of coping with the pain. Many addictions and personality traits are coping mechanisms we have developed to deal with the pain in our lives. This is why, for the sake of our relationships and our marriages, we need to identify these things and do what we can to find help, healing, and understanding. The reason I have been to counseling is to help clarify those emotional issues in my life that affect the way I live life and how I can overcome their negative effects. When we are emotionally healthy we are in a much better position to relate to other people in positive and encouraging ways. When we are unhealthy emotionally we become a burden to those all those around us, and that is certainly not something we want to bring into a marriage.

The third commitment is to physical health. When we are young most of us take our physical health for granted and we don’t cultivate the habits we need to maintain a healthy life. A healthy life is important because it allows us to be more effective in the work God has called us to do. Being healthy also helps us to enjoy life as much as possible right now. Relationships are difficult if one or both people are struggling with health problems. While we don’t have complete control over what happens to us (hopefully we are all aware that sickness can come and rob us of our health at anytime) there are things we can do to promote our physical health. A very important thing we can do is to learn to eat correctly: what and how much we should eat. We also need to be active. Our lives should include times of physical work, exercise, and play. When we lead a balanced life we will find that we are better prepared to lead the life that God has called us to live. What I have also found is that when I am eating right and exercising regularly then my emotional life is also in much better shape.

The fourth commitment that I feel God has lead me to make in this time of singleness is the commitment to sexual purity. Sexual purity is about keeping sex in its proper spot, and that spot is marriage. We can be married and still be sexually impure, so it is vital that we start to instill in our lives right now the type of behavior that will lead us to honor the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4) the rest of our lives. There has been a lot written on this subject, but let me give you two insights I have gleaned along my journey. The first insight is that I have no right to fantasize about a woman. The way she is dressed or how she acts doesn’t give me permission to use her in an unholy and ungodly manner. I have found that one of the best things I can do in this regard is to say, out loud, “No, I am not going to go down that road” when the temptation to fantasize appears in my head. When we allow ourselves to fantasize about women we turn them into objects for our pleasure, which will lead us to treating our wives in the exact same fashion, rather than treating them as daughters of the King.

A second insight is that I have to take precautions and set up boundaries which will guide my behavior. For instance, one of the reasons I don’t have TV in my house is because I don’t want to be tempted by the garbage that is on television. I use an internet filter which blocks objectionable content and limits the time I spend online to lessen the temptations which come by being online. This also requires us set strict boundaries for our behavior when we find ourselves in a dating relationship. I think guys have to take the lead in this area, and we have to set those boundaries before things start to get hot and heavy, other wise we will never establish the boundaries that will protect us from sexual sin.

My entire life is bound to the life of my wife, even though I have yet to meet her. The decisions that I make today will have lasting consequences, and so it is my responsibility to make positive God-honoring choices right now to lay a solid foundation for the marriage I hope to have. To do anything less is to dishonor my marriage before it even begins. That is why the ring that hangs around my neck is not a purity ring but an honor ring, for it reminds me that I have a responsibility right now to honor and cherish my wife.

Be A Praying Boyfriend

Dating, in our culture, is how we go about finding a marriage partner. This whole ritual of boyfriends and girlfriends is littered with potential pitfalls which means that very few people escape the process unscathed. Many of us carry the scars and broken hearts of dating relationships gone bad, and some of those wounds will be with us the rest of our lives.

Because dating is so dangerous it is essential for the Christian guy to approach dating with wisdom and guidance. Please remember guys, we are not out on a hunting party trying to find meat for supper, but we are in pursuit of a life partner who we can love, cherish, and lead. Dating, as exciting as it is, is also a huge responsibility.

As we date we need to keep in mind that the girlfriends that we have are daughters of God. That means we have the responsibility to help her grow spiritually and to encourage her to use her talents in ministry. This means that we have to hold her life as a sacred trust for as long as she is a part of our lives. As Christians our dating experiences cannot be all about fun, but they also need to be about mutual encouragement as we grow in our faith. Now I believe that it is the man who is to lead the relationship in this aspect. If you are not leading your girlfriend spiritually it is your responsibility to stop dating until you are spiritually mature enough to lead.

How do we go about leading our girlfriends spiritually? We begin to lead our girlfriends spiritually though prayer. I don't mean some wimpy little prayer that so many of us like to pray: “God, I would just like to ask that You will just be with my girlfriend and just grow her spiritually…”

I am afraid that such a prayer isn’t going to do too much. You see prayer doesn’t start with the act of praying, but it starts with our motivation for praying. For our prayers to be effective we have to believe that God hears our prayers and that He has our best interests at heart. Then prayer has to become so important to us that we set aside time to pray each and every day. If we are just praying to mark “prayer” off our religious to do list, well then it isn’t going to accomplish much.

When it comes to praying for our girlfriends we have to answer the question: “Do I want my girlfriend to grow in her relationship with God?”

Don’t be so quick to answer that question. We have to stop and consider some of the potential consequences of our girlfriends growing spiritually. What if God shows her that the next step in her journey is to break up with us, would we be okay with that? What if God uses her to bring up issues in our lives that we would rather remain hidden, would we be okay with that? Our prayers will be effective when we can come to the place and say, “God whatever Your will is I surrender my life to it.” Remember our will is not always the same as God’s will, so one of the purposes of prayer is learning to trust God more than we trust ourselves.

When it comes to praying for our girlfriends I think it is important to remember that we need to also pray for them with them. It is one thing to pray for her in your room while you are by yourself, but it is another thing to reach over and grab her hand and out loud express your heart’s desire for her life to God. She needs to hear this because she needs to know that you want God’s will for her no matter what happens in your relationship. Make sure you set aside time on your dates to pray with her and for her.

With that being said I want to give you a few practical prayers that you need to pray for your girlfriend if you are going to help her grow spiritually.

1. Pray that God will keep both of you on the same page. This has proved essential to me in the last two relationships that I have had. In both cases when it came time to call it quits God revealed that truth to both of us. While there was sadness that accompanied the end of the relationship, we both knew that God wanted us to go our separate ways, and we were able to part on good terms. There is no way to avoid the pain of a break up, but with God’s wisdom and guidance we can make it sting a little less.
2. The apostle Paul at the beginning of his letter to the Colossians reveals to them his prayer for them; And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God (Colossians 1:9-10; ESV). Ask God to fill your girlfriend with a knowledge of His will and with spiritual wisdom and understanding. Remember the important thing in her life isn’t that she will become your wife, but that she will live a life that is worthy of Christ Jesus. This is such an important prayer for us to pray, not only for our girlfriends, but for everyone we pray for.
3. In Ephesians 6:13-17 we have what is called the Armor of God. The apostle Paul reminds us in Ephesians 6 that we are in a battle, a spiritual battle, and that means our girlfriends are out in the middle of it. Daily we need to ask God to clothe her in His armor. To do this we need to take the time to walk through this passage and mention each specific piece. The reason we need to pray this prayer is to help them to have the ability to stand firm in the face of the enemy's attacks. This is also a prayer that I use for myself each day, I need to be clothed in God armor otherwise I will fall.
4. A fourth prayer I pray for my future wife I adapted from the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:10). I ask God that His Kingdom come and His will be done in her life as it is done in heaven. The best life that we can live is lived in accordance to God's will, and so I want my wife to know God's will and receive the strength and courage needed in living out His will for her life.
   
5. The final prayer I will mention is that we need to thank God for bringing such a beautiful woman into our lives. Because we are thankful we ask God to give us the wisdom and guidance we need to be an encouragement to her. A relationship with a beautiful woman is a great blessing, especially when she is a follower of Christ Jesus, and so we need to thank God for that wonderful blessing. Like all blessings there also comes a responsibility, and that responsibility is to lead and encourage her in her walk with Jesus. In order to do that effectively we need God’s wisdom, and as James told us (James 1:5) if we lack wisdom we need to ask God for the wisdom we need to spiritually lead the woman we call our girlfriend.

Dating is dangerous and it leads to a lot of wounds. That is why the wise Christian man will take the time to pray and invite God into the dating relationship that he is in. As single Christian guys we want to make the dating relationship a positive and encouraging experience that will help both of us to grow in our relationship with God. So if we are really serious about being a Christian boyfriend we will be a boyfriend who prays.

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God Cares

{1 Peter 5:6-7; NLT}

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

There are times in our lives when we are convinced that no one is able to understand what we are going through. Even when we know that other people have been through a similar circumstances we tell ourselves that what we went through is so much worse.

What happens in these circumstances is that we have our focus in the wrong place. Our focus is all on us and what we are feeling, which then leads us to get so consumed with our feelings that we lose sight of everything else. It becomes a vicious cycle that will guarantee that we will continue to feel worse and worse and more and more isolated until something is able to come in and break it.

That is why Peter’s command in 1 Peter 5:6 is so vitally important. Humility helps us put things in their proper perspective, which allows us to deal with them more effectively. It also allows us to open our eyes to see what is happening to other people, which will allow us to realize that many people are worse of than we are. Finally, humility helps us to remember that God is still on His throne working out His plan to bless the entire world through Christ Jesus, which allows us to remember that we are just playing a small part in a bigger story.

If we continue to look at what Peter wrote in 1 Peter 5:6 he goes on to say that at the right time he will lift you up in honor. God does not intend for you to stay in the depths of hardship, misery, and tragedy which should add comfort to our lives, for nothing lasts forever, not even our pain.

Yet it is in these depths that God molds us into the people He created us to be. Much like the refining process which requires heat and fire, the hardships of life help refine our character and faith. As painful as these time are God is able to use them for our good. God loves us so much that He will not waste the pain we experience in our lives, but He will use it to make us more like His Son Jesus.

I want you to stop and ponder this thought for a moment. God doesn’t waste the hardships of our lives! What a wonderful thought to remember! He will use this awful experiences for our good. When Peter says that God will exalt us, he is implying two very important realities: the hardships of life are useful in our character development and they will not go on forever.

While hardships are necessary and God uses them to bring change to our lives, that does not mean that He is indifferent to our fear, pain, and suffering. God loves you! The fact that God experienced the pain of death of His Son Jesus reminds us that God knows what pain is and that He is willing to do whatever it takes to rescue us from this world of sin and death. That is why Peter, who knew about pain and tragedy, is able to write that God cares about us. What a wonderful promise this is, and one that we often forget.

Since God cares for us that means that He is not bothered by the hardships and pain in our lives, even if think they are insignificant. God wants us to come to Him with everything on our hearts and to ask for His help and guidance. That doesn’t mean that He will make everything better, but it will mean that He will give us the strength and wisdom to get through the situation.

James tells us:

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking (James 1:2-5; NLT).

The only way we can look at life’s troubles with joy is if we have God’s wisdom to guide us. It is also the only way we will be able to understand that God cares about us when we are in the middle of a tragedy. God loves us and when we go to Him in prayer He will give us what we need to get through whatever we are experiencing.

God desires that we experience life, but the problem is that in order to experience life we have to be changed. Change, as we know, often requires hardship and difficulty, which is never easy. It is in moments like those that we have to hold on to the promise that God cares about us and turn to Him for help. I believe that if we turn to God in the moment of crisis He will provide the encouragement and the strength we need to get through to the other side. Why do I believe this? I believe it because God cares about what happens to us.