We shouldn't be surprised that the defects in our character, the sin we struggle with, and the bad attitudes we carry around don't easily disappear when we surrender our lives to Jesus. After all many of these things have taken years to developed and are intertwined with how we cope with life. Yes, Jesus can bring about healing and restoration, but it will take awhile as He goes for the root of our sin and we learn to trust Him more and more.
This can be frustrating because we are become so exhausted with dealing with the crap that is a part of our lives. It is tiring to have to fight through fear every time we want to talk to a person or to rev ourselves up enough to get our depressed hearts out of bed in the morning. We want the joy of the Lord and to live the abundant life Jesus promised His followers!
Dallas Willard wrote;
Love, joy, and peace fostered in divine fellowship simply crowd out fear, anger, unsatisfied desire, woundedness, rejection. There is no longer room for them—well, perhaps there is for a while, but increasingly less so. Belonging to Christ does not immediately eliminate bad feelings, and we must not be drawn into pretense that it does. (Renovation of the Heart, p. 136)
Here is my point: The transformation of our lives takes time. It isn't just about the elimination of the bad, but the addition of the good. The way God works is to bring in the light to chase away the darkness and to add love to force out hate. This takes times, but little by little transformation happens. I think it is Rick Warren who said, "We over estimate how much we can accomplish in a year and under estimate how much we can accomplish in five years." If we are faithful in following Jesus, if we are consistent in crying out for His healing, and if we truly hungering and thirsting for righteousness we will experience change in our lives. God will transform our lives, but it will happen so slowly that we might just miss it.
Last night I had the chance to reflect on my life and I was overwhelmed about the transformation God has brought about in my life. Yes, I have a long ways to go, but I am more energized to keep going because I know the difference God has made in my life and the healing He has brought to my heart.
Hang in there. Just because you don't see the change doesn't mean God isn't working in your life. Continue to trust Him and one day you will discover that He did come and make you into a new person.