On June 25, 2011 after years of waiting I married my dream girl. I came into our marriage with many different expectations. There were expectations ranging from what household responsibilities each or us would take on to how we would spend our vacation time. It is a reality of the life that we enter into experiences with expectations. These expectations are both spoken and unspoken.
One of the expectations we put on marriage is that of intimacy. We want to be known, loved, and accepted unconditionally. Marriage seems to be the accepted place for this expectation for intimacy to be met. While marriage is perfectly designed to help meet this desire for intimacy we have to remember that each person, both husband and wife, come into marriage with this same expectations. The problem being how they expect this craving for intimacy to be met will look different for each of them. So it is essential for both people to make the time and to be intentional about speaking one another's love language. That will enable both husband and wife to have their craving of intimacy at least partially met.
It will only be partially met because our craving for intimacy extend beyond marriage. We want our friends and collegues to accept and value us as well. This is why peer pressure doesn't disappear when you graduate from high school or move beyond college. We will do crazy things in order to be accepted by the group of people we are with. Let me ask you this question: What have you done in order to be known?
We have all been created with cravings. These cravings come from our innermost being: soul cravings.
No matter how much we try to indulge these cravings or no matter how we try reign them in through self-control these cravings never seem to be fully satisfied. The leads us to conclude what C. S. Lewis said, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." (Mere Christianity, p. 121). The deepest desires of our hearts point us to the reality that we were created for a different world. We were created to be part of God's eternal Kingdom and only there will we find the satisfaction to our hearts' deepest desires.
From the very beginning of the Bible we see that we were created with the desire for intimacy. Genesis 2:18 says; Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him" (NLT). Our Creator declares that it is not good for people to live a life alone. We need intimate fellowship in our lives. The best possible life that we can live is a life lived in relationship with God which flows out into relationship with other people. It is not good for us to be alone!
Why do we have such a hard time with satisfying this desire? The reason is because of sin. Since sin is rebellion against God, His purposes, and His ways then sin destroys our relationship with God. A broken relationship with God leads us to have broken and selfish relationship with other people. Sin makes it impossible for us to satisfy this craving here one earth.