Linkage: What's Wrong with Sex Before Marriage?

In a culture that emphasizes sex and devalues marriage it is politically incorrect to talk about why sex outside of marriage is wrong.  We have been told over and over again that sex is no big deal and that it is perfectly acceptable for consenting adults.

While I do believe that people are free to choose how they will live their life that doesn't mean that people should be free from the consequences of those choices.  People can have sex outside of marriage, but that doesn't mean there will not be negative consequences associated with it.

Amy Orr-Ewing tackles this subject in this piece, "What's Wrong with Sex Before Marriage?", at bethinking.org.

How on earth can you answer this question? It is the 21st century after all; surely God doesn't hate you enough to make you say something so ridiculous and old-fashioned that you will lose all your friends! In the gospels, Jesus was asked many difficult questions and he frequently responded with a question before answering more fully. He did this so often that I think we are probably meant to notice it and learn something. 

What is wrong with sex before marriage? How about: 'What is wrong with anything?' In other words, where do you get the moral code by which you live your life? There may be a whole number of different responses: 'I do what I feel is right' - my morals are entirely personal and arbitrary. Or 'society decides what is right and wrong' - laws are made and as long as I stick within them everything is OK. Or anything in between those two responses.

Continue reading What's Wrong with Sex Before Marriage?

How would you respond to that question?

Follow @PaulBSteele

Sacrificing to Molech

Part of my Bible reading this morning included Leviticus 18.  This chapter basically deals with sinful sexual practices.  One particular thing caught my attention and that was verse 21; You shall not give any of your children to offer them to Molech, and so profane the name of your God: I am the LORD (ESV).

What made this verse stand out is because it is slipped in this section on sexual purity.  Verse 20 declares that sleeping with your neighbor's wife is a sin and verse 22 reveals homosexuality is a sin.  So I am wondering why place this restriction here rather than someplace else that talks about idolatry?  Without studying it I would offer up two guesses.  First, like most pagan worship the worship of Molech not only included child sacrifice but also deviant sexual practices.  Second, children are the result of sexual union.

We may not sacrifice to pagan gods anymore, but there is little doubt that the world celebrates sexual deviancy.  While God wants us to hold sex sacred in the context of marriage, the world says that it is good to explore your sexual urges.  Now it is true that in our culture there are still some bounds that that people are reluctant to cross, but with each passing year it seems those boundaries grow weaker and weaker.  The bottom line is that people want to enjoy themselves, but they don't want to suffer the consequences of their actions.  They want to have a pill to cure what every disease they might get from their "free loving" lifestyle.  Since many are not prepared for children they want the option to terminate any life that might have been conceived from having casual sex.  The result is that we still sacrifice our children.  It may not be on the alter of Molech, but it is on the alter of self-centeredness.

There is little doubt that the issue of abortion stems from the reality that people want to have sex without the consequences.  Men and women are willing to kill their children in the name of pleasure, education, career, and freedom.  What they don't understand is that in the process they are destroying their very souls, because they are revealing what they truly worship is not the Creator of the Universe, but themselves.  In the end a sexually loose lifestyle always leads people away from God and causes them to devalue life, including the life of their own children.

Spirit Led Sexuality

I was at Walmart a few nights ago and I decided to go back to the magazine section to see if there was an issue of Backpacker Magazine available.  As I scanned the shelves in a vain attempt to find the magazine I was looking for I was assaulted by sex.  Sex dominated the magazine covers from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and other men's magazines to the promises made of the covers of the women’s magazines.  It would not be an exaggeration to say the sex occupies a central place in our culture, and thus in our lives.

Sex is everywhere and it is so very easy to go along with the culture and not give this great blessing of God the place of honor that it deserves.  Followers of Christ Jesus need to remember what the writers of Hebrews wrote: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous (Hebrews 13:4; ESV). This begins in our thoughts and desires, which means if we are going to hold sex in honor then we need to break away from the patterns of this world.  In other words we can no longer allow our flesh to guide our sexuality.

Our flesh (I dislike the term “sinful nature”) is firmly rooted in the things of this world.  It craves things that are sensual, things that can experienced by the five senses, and thus it is selfish.  Since the flesh is selfish it distorts the cravings for the good things God has given and goes on an all out pursuit to consume those things.  I think sex and food are two blessings God has given that our flesh selfishly consumes with negative effects on our bodies and souls.

The problem for you and me, even though we follow Jesus, is that we live in a world that has gone wrong, and we are faced with the reality of people being lead by their flesh in pursuit of sex, and it is easy to think that this is what sex is meant to be.  Things as innocent as love songs, chick flicks, and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue to culturally accepted things like steamy movies, homosexuality, and pornography to disturbing things like child pornography, bestiality, and sadism cry out the terrible truth that our sexuality has gone terribly wrong.  When left unchecked our flesh will take us to places we never intended to go, and so it is very important that we don’t allow it to lead our lives, and that includes our sexuality. How do we break free from being led by the flesh?

The simple answer is that we allow the Spirit to guide our lives.  The apostle Paul wrote; But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do (Galatians 5:16, 17; ESV).  Paul is clear that if we don’t want to gratify cravings of our flesh we need to let the Spirit guide our lives.  The trouble that we run into, at least the trouble I have had, is that I haven’t always been clear on how we let the Spirit lead our lives.  When we read on in Galatians 5 we don’t find a guide on how to be Spirit led, but we get two pictures.  In verses 19-21 Paul gives us a description of what it looks like to be lead by the flesh and in verses 22-23 Paul provides the image of what it looks like to be guided by the Spirit, but he doesn’t tell us how it is done.

Let me offer a few insights I have had as I have sought to live a Spirit-guided life.  First, it requires that we offer our lives to God.  In the often used passage of Romans 12:1-2 we read; I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (ESV).  In other words we have to understand that our lives are not our own, but they are God’s and we need to live them is such away that will please Him (Galatians 2:20).  We do that by rejecting the ways of this world and seeking God’s will.  We have to intentionally move away from the influences of the world and soak our minds and hearts in God’s Word.  If we don’t make this break we allow this world to give strength to our flesh.  You know what?  If we truly offer our lives to God it will mean that we won’t be able to consume the media, the philosophies, and standards of this world like we have in the past.  In fact, gasp, it might mean turning off the television and picking up the Bible.  If we want to be free from the leadership of the flesh we have to be ruthless with it.  Paul tells us; And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires (Galatians 5:24; ESV).  If we are not ruthless with our flesh it will weasel its way into the leadership position of our lives.


Not only do we offer our lives to God, but we invite the Spirit into our lives.  Colossians 1:9-10 has become a favorite passage for me.  The apostle Paul wrote; And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God (ESV).  We need to pray for and ask God to fill us with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding so we are able to live lives that honor Christ Jesus.  In this same vein I don’t know why we shouldn’t pray and ask the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts and guide our lives, including our sexuality.

We need to offer our lives to God, we need to invite the Spirit into our lives, and we need to love people.  Remember I said that our flesh is selfish.  It wants to consume to that it feels good.  So to combat this selfishness we need to intentional love people.  We need to ask God to give us eyes of compassion instead of eyes of lust and we need to choose to extend a helping hand rather than a groping hand so that we understand that life is greater than our desires.  Love helps us move past the idea that others exist for our enjoyment to understanding that others exist, just like me, to worship God.  It is this type of serving unconditional love that only comes from the work of the Spirit in our lives (Galatians 5:22).

Sexuality is too precious of a gift to allow our flesh to be our guide, because in its pursuit to consume it will destroy the gift.  The Spirit will lead us to place sex in a place of honor in our lives, and when it is in its proper place we will experience the enjoyment of sex that God intended for us to have from the beginning.  Yet, this won’t happen magically, it requires that we intentionally surrender our lives to Christ Jesus by offering our lives to God, by inviting the Spirit to be our guide, and by committing ourselves to love people. Great sex happens, not because advice offered in some magazine, but because the guidance of the Spirit.

Spiritual Discipline and Sexual Purity

The promise of God is that He will give us new life.  This is true and eternal life. We receive this life when we have a connection with Jesus. In John 15:5 we read that Jesus told His apostles; “I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing” (NLT). Similarly the apostle Paul wrote, Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all he has done (Colossians 2:7; NLT). We draw our life from Christ Jesus, and so it is vital that we remain connected to Him.

We need to remember what our true source of life is. We cannot live the life God created us to live apart from Jesus. Try as hard as we might and erect as many laws as we can and we will still fall short of what God intends our lives to be. Sexual purity is so hard to maintain because if we are not connected to Jesus all of our boundaries and rules will eventually fail us. Remember what Jesus said, “For apart from me you can do nothing”, and that includes remaining sexually pure.

You may be wondering, “Why does sexual purity matter?” This is a very good question since it would not be worth the struggle if sexual purity wasn’t an essential part of living the life God has created us to live. Sexual purity matters because pre-marital sex and extra-material sex rob us of the life that God designed us to live. Rather than bringing us closer to God sex, when done outside of the bounds of marriage, takes us further away from God.

At least that has been the case in my life, and think the testimony of many other people would confirm this reality. Let me clarify, I have never had sex, but that doesn’t mean that I have always held sex in the sacred place it deserves. In the relationships that I have been in we have established appropriate boundaries, yet I always wanted to push those boundaries. To be brutally honest the reason I wanted to push those boundaries had nothing with showing her my love, but had everything to do with gratifying my selfish desires. This led me to see her, not as a person, but as an object to satisfy my lust. In a very real sense my actions led me to dehumanize the woman I was with.

The spiritual life that God wants us to live should lead us to do the opposite. As followers of Christ Jesus we are to bring dignity, respect, and love into the lives of people. In other words we are to treat people as image-bearers of God and not objects that we can use for our enjoyment. Sexual purity is important because it helps us to treat people the way God intended us to treat them.

It is hard to be sexually pure when there is so much fighting against us in this commitment. I don’t need to tell you what a cesspool our culture is in regards to sex. We all know that sex is every where, and it is often being pushed right in our faces. We can’t even go to the store without 20 different magazine covers declaring that they have the secret to a happy and exciting sex life (the fact that magazines feel the need to keep offering this advice should tell us something: THEY DON’T HAVE THE SECRET!). For honesty sake we have to admit that the world is opposed to our desire to be sexually pure, and therefore this is not going to be easy. Yet, I am also fully convinced that sexual purity is the best way to live life.

With so much against us, how can we remain sexually pure? First, it begins with an understanding of what is truly important in life. A poor person who is greedy will spend his/her time thinking about and scheming to get money. They do this because they believe that money is the most important thing in life and if they only had money then they would be happy. Many of us act the same way when it comes to sex. We don't have it, but we act like it is the missing part of the happy life. We have to come to an understanding that we don’t need sex to have a happy and fulfilled life, and so we don’t need to think about all the time or scheme to find loopholes so we can see how much we can experience of it without going all the way. To come to this realization requires three steps.

First, we will have to get rid of the media that fuels our hearts and minds. We have to be ruthless when it comes to getting rid of movies, TV shows, and music that lead us to fantasize and thus lead our desires and thoughts astray. I took time last year to go through my DVD collection, and when I picked up a movie if the first thought I had about it was a sex scene or a female in some sexy outfit I threw that DVD away. We get enough of the “just do it” message from living in the world, we don’t need to make things harder by intentionally bringing that message into our lives. Along this same line we need to establish other limits for protection. On my MacBook and iPod Touch I have a filter system called Safe Eyes. Not only does it filter out unwanted content, but it also allows me to establish time limits on my internet access (because even the best filter will allow filth in). If we are not intentional about setting boundaries for what we allow into our hearts and minds then we will discover that so much of what consumes our thought life is impure and unhealthy.

Second we have to intentionally find ministries to which we can volunteer our time. Ministry (we could also call it service) is vital for our spiritual lives. It reminds us that the world doesn’t revolve around us and our lives, and that there are people in this world who are in tremendous need, whether that need is physical or spiritual. When we serve we are expressing our love for people, and though the process God reminds us that there is a higher calling on our lives than sex, and that is making a difference for His Kingdom. Not only does ministry remind us that there is a call upon our lives, but it also puts us into experiences where sex isn't front and center.

Third we have to devote ourselves to our spiritual lives. Too many of us neglect the spiritual side of our lives, and thus we lose the vital connection we need with Jesus. In order to maintain a connection with Christ Jesus we need to establish certain disciplines in our lives. One of the fundamental disciplines that we need is prayer. While we can pray anywhere and at anytime there is something that is essential in having a time we have set aside to spend time alone with God. Two things have proved helpful to me in this. First, is to have a private place for prayer. Second, is to pray aloud. I have found that this helps me to stay focused and actually talk to God in the way I would talk to a person.

To go along with prayer we need to be in God’s Word. This isn’t just about reading the Bible, but it is about getting God’s Word into our hearts. When we go to the Bible the agenda isn’t about how much we read, but planting God’s truth into our hearts. This will also require times of quiet meditation or reflection in order to concentrate on what God is communicating through the Bible. It also requires memorizing Scripture so that we are able to recall God’s truth and promises as we go about our day.

There is so much more that could be said, but I want to end with this thought: Sexual purity is the result of our pursuit of holiness. If we desire sexual purity but don’t desire holiness in other areas of our lives we will not be sexually pure. The spiritual disciplines, those actions which keep us connected to Jesus, are the ways we train our bodies in the way of holiness. That is why sexual purity isn’t just about making a decision (of course that is where it starts) but it is about training our bodies to obey God’s will for our lives. We will not do that unless we see sexual purity as something worth fighting for, and only then will we devote our entire lives to prepare for that fight.

When Men Aren't Men

Originally posted on Friday February 04, 2005

In the February 2005 issue of Reader’s Digest there is a column by Michael Crowley entitled No-Strings Sex: Teen girls are buying into the sleaze we’re selling them. I think for many years it was viewed as guys being the ones who were initiating sex and the girls were being pressured into going along. What is now being discovered is that it is the girls who are becoming the aggressors. There was a Newsweek report in 2004 that showed married women were the ones initiating affairs. We act all surprised because for so long we have thought it was the other way around.

I personally don’t find this all surprising. It is the natural result of a culture where the males are no longer men. John Eldredge in Wild at Heart wrote:

Finally, every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil. Not to conjure, but to unveil. Most women feel the pressure to be beautiful from very young, but that is not what I speak of. There is also a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty, and be delighted in. Most little girls will remember playing dress up, or wedding day, or “twirling skirts” those flowing dresses that were perfect for spinning around in. She’ll put her pretty dress on, come into the living room and twirl. What she longs for is to capture her daddy’s delight. My wife remembers standing on top of the coffee table as a girl of five or six, and singing her heart out. Do you see me? asks the heart of every girl. And are you captivated by what you see? (p. 17)

The main reason why this sexual aggression has suddenly become evident with teen girls has very little to do with TV, music, and magazines. It has everything to do with men who do not delight in the women in the lives. As men try to discover their “manhood” through sports, career, pornography, or through sexual conquests they become distant from women. When women feel they are not the delight of their fathers’ or husbands’ eyes, they will go seek it in one form or another. Sex provides the perfect counterfeit to what they are seeking, because it is so close to the real thing. But to be lusted is not the same thing as to be cherished. To have sexual intercourse is not the same thing as intimacy.

Our response as the church is not just about monitoring the entertainment and other media that shapes who we are, but it also needs to focus on teaching boys about what it means to be a man and girls what it means to be woman. This is not simply about sex education, this about helping our youth make the transition into adulthood.

I don’t know much about girls, so I am not going to speak to that. What I want to touch on is how to help a boy become a man. We, as a society, lack a celebration or a ceremony which helps a boy understand that he is now a man. In our society you become a man when you have sex. Therefore, as a church, we have to look for ways to educate the young men in our care on what it means to be a man, and find ways to give them responsibility so that can experience that transition.

I thank God that I grew up on a farm. That provided a natural transition because as we grew older Dad would give us more responsibilities. From mowing the lawn, to driving a tractor, to hauling manure, and doing field work I was granted more responsibility with age and it was if Dad was saying, you are more of a man now. The vast majority of boys do not experience this, and most of them are not given responsibility of any kind.

Here is what I feel God calling me to do: help boys become men. I believe the problem is not Hollywood (the entertainment industry) but it is our culture’s lack of having a perspective about the future. We don’t think about the consequences of our actions, we just do it. Therefore we have raised a generation of males who don’t know what it means to be a man, and a generation of girls who are longing to be the delight of their man’s (husband or father) eye.

Swept Under The Rug

One of the books I am currently reading is 4th and Goal by Bill McCartney. The book is a collections of short thoughts intended to inspire and challenge men to respond with integrity to life’s challenges. This morning I the short read I read dealt with dating violence among teenagers and challenging fathers to be involved in their children’s lives.

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, our culture’s attempt to celebrate love and romance, I think it is important to understand what is happening in the “love” lives of the children of our country.

As far as I am concerned they shouldn’t be having “love” lives, but they are, and they are increasingly becoming violent or abusive. In August 2001 CNN.COM did an article about a study that looked into teen dating violence. The study revealed that 1 in 5 teen girls are victims of physical and/or sexual abuse.

Just today the Washington Times had an article about a new study. This study focused on “tweens” (identified as children 11-14).

Perhaps more surprisingly, almost 30 percent of these young teens think oral sex and sexual intercourse are expected in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. And hundreds of tweens report that their dating partners have harassed them, bossed them around or tried to monopolize their time.

A few even report physical abuse, such as hitting, slapping or kicking, or being pressured into having oral sex or intercourse.

As if being pressured into doing things you don’t want to do and being called names isn’t abuse enough a “few even report physical abuse”! This is terrible. I don’t think we appreciate how much of an impact that these things have on the rest of a person’s life. These poor children are being harmed and we turn a blind eye to it.

Where does the blame lie? Certainly the entertainment industry plays a part. I don’t have to tell you the filth that flows from the music industry, TV, movies, and video games. The sad thing is the reason I don’t have to mention it is because we are hip deep in it ourselves. The more we support trash the more we harm the young people in this country, including our own children.

I think blame also lies with our promotion of romance. Romance is all well and good, but it is not essential to life. You won’t die if you never kiss a person of the opposite sex or have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Yet we are bombarded with the lie that we need to have romance in our lives. Just standing in the check out line at the grocery store reveals this to me. You would think that we would be experts in romance and bringing the passion back to our relationships since every month every magazine has at least one idea on how to do this. Yet, this is also seen in the adults who just need to be in a relationship, even if it is a bad one. So what do the kids in those situations learn? That having someone is more important that anything else, even your dignity and respect.

After saying all of that what it really comes down to is parents. Parents have to be vigilant about what their children put into their minds. Parents have to monitor how their children dress and the friends that they have. Parents have to be part of their children’s lives. What is really sad is that these things are happening and the parents have no idea. Their child is hurt and they don’t know it and allow that child back out into that vicious place of teen dating.

Church if we are going to talk about justice let’s start with those with the weakest voices. Our children are being bombarded with stuff they are not ready for (are we ever ready for it?) and they need people who will speak for them. This has less to do with education and more to do with speak the dark and ugly truth. That is what light does it reveals what is in the dark. Let us stop sweeping the abuse of our children under the rug and help the world understand the real evil that is going on.

Let's Talk About Sex

“Sex is sacred, but not essential, and our lives say the opposite.” ~ Mark Moore

One of my heroes is Mark Moore. I have never met him and I have only heard him in person a handful of times, but he has made an impact on my life none the less. When I heard him say the above quote I was amazed at the genius of it. In a simple sentence he managed to state the reason why we struggle with sex.

I want to take a few moments and just look at the three sections which make up this sentence; because I think when we begin to grasp the meaning of it the place of sex in our lives will become much clearer.

“Sex is sacred…” Sex is to have a place of honor in our lives. The author of Hebrews wrote; Give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery (Hebrews 13:4; NLT). God designed sex to bring a man and a woman into an intimate communion that cannot be expressed in any other way. It is not dirty or shameful nor is it common and ordinary. It has a very special place in binding a husband and wife together, and when we are unwilling to hold sex as something that is sacred then it loses all of its significance. It will become a “fun” activity for consenting adults to participate in, but its ultimate purpose will be lost. The way people get the most out of their sexual lives is to hold sex as sacred and leave it where it belongs.

We talk too much about sex. C. S. Lewis wrote;

“The reason why I must is that you and I…have been fed all day long on solid lies about sex. We have been told, till one is sick of hearing it, that sexual desire is in the same state as any of our other natural desires and that if only we abandon the silly old Victorian idea of hushing it up, everything in the garden will be lovely. It is not true. The moment you look at the facts, and away from the propaganda, you see that it is not” (Mere Christianity; pg. 91-92).

Our focus on sex, both in the world and in the church, has led us to make sex common, and thus not sacred. I am not advocating ignoring sex, as if it doesn’t exist, but rather keep holding sex in high regard so it is not the foundation of our stories, jokes, and our lives.

That brings us to the second part: “but not essential…” Here comes a shocking statement: Sex is not necessary for a good life! That is so contrary to what we have been told and to what we believe. Sex is not essential to our happiness! You can have a joyful life, a fulfilled life, and still be a virgin. Jesus was at least 33 years old when He was crucified and He never had sex. For Jesus to command you to keep sex within the bounds of marriage means that He is not asking you to do anything that He has not already done. The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:1 writes; Now about the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life (NLT). Sex is not essential in our quest to live the Christian life, which in the end is the type of life which brings the most fulfillment.

There is no sexual act that will give us the type of life that we long to have. The joyful life is not having a life of sexual freedom, but living a life that finds pleasure in the little things: the love of a child, the knowledge of a job well done, time with friends and family, and worship to the Creator. Sex is a life-enhancer, making the good life just a little bit better.

The final part: “and our lives say the opposite…” I don’t need to remind us how sex has gone wrong in the world. It is all around us, and we are faced with it each and everyday. Is it a surprise that we find the world living contrary to God’s standard when it comes to sex? No, because the world has twisted everything God has given to fit its plan. When Mark Moore says “our lives,” he is not making a judgment on people already living contrary to God’s will, but he is pointing out how Christians are not much different. Sexual purity just isn't very fashionable. I am continually amazed by the number of "Christian" people I know who are living with someone or just have "weekend" flings.

The movies and television shows so many "Christians" watch carry a message contrary to God's message on sex, and yet we don't give them a second thought. Treating sex as sacred is more than just keeping sex between married people. Sex will not remain sacred if it is a common element in our entertainment.

This also includes jokes. Most of the “dirty” jokes I have heard in the last few years, have not come from people of the world, but from ministers and elders. There are jokes preachers tell to each other that they would never tell to people in their congregation. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God (Ephesians 5:3-4; NLT). Whether or not we hold sex to be sacred is not only seen in our actions, but also in our speech. Too often we are trying to tell the world to honor sex while we are treating it with disrespect with our jokes.

As I wrap this up let me leave you with another C. S. Lewis quote:

“Chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues. There is no getting away from it: the old Christian rule is, ‘Either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.’ Now this is so difficult and so contrary to our instincts, that obviously either Christianity is wrong or our sexual instinct, as it now is, has gone wrong. One or the other. Of course, being a Christian, I think it is the instinct which has gone wrong” (Mere Christianity; pg. 90).